This, the last testament, of Kashif Merchant which I believe is written in all (in)sanity:
To Yousuf, my best friend, I leave firstly my pickup (this still does not allow him to DRIVE it!), a bottle of hairspray, which relieves me of my eternal duty of answering "Is my hair okay?" I leave him my personality, which he mostly shaped and also lunch at my nanis house and my family, which he was an integral part of!
To my (girl)friend Danesh Kamal, I bequeath (using a SAT word!) Salt n Peppers food , the prefect Diners Club, the "bird"-watching system we developed in Singapore, and truckloads of underwear , which he always was in need of!
To Zarsheesh, "my jaan" long-time-phone-advisor, I leave some extra weight (which he seems to lose miraculously), Hamlet (his buddy, whom he quoted so frequently!), and a medal for his capability of making me see the simplest explanation. Also, I leave for him NO WORDS, for I believe he far exceeds what I can put into writing.
To Cindy, my sis, I firstly leave two phone sets and an apology for wearing out her old ones! I leave her Regent Plaza, where we first met in Nov. 98, a surprise birthday party, which will always remain due on me, a dance (which I never got!), and the privilege of being the first to know about anything in my life!
To Farah Salahuddin, I leave all the boys of Class X-S, coz she had them mesmerized! I leave her Danesh Kamals company (!), orange makeup to match her dress color, the actual version of baraf-pani and a bottle of Cherry Blossom, to use to distinguish her dark lovers from the inky darkness during those midnight strolls!
To Nida Faizi, I leave FARAZ, who tried so hard to impress her, but sadly, to no avail. As a bonus, Id like to add the rest of the male population of the school as well! Also, I leave her that momentous bench, on which we spoke for countless hours while the others looked on!
To Wamiq, my businessman pal, I leave Dow Jones, of which I hope someday he becomes the top player, and for the daily parties at his house I leave him an endless supply of Chivas Regal whisky!
To Sana Irshad, I leave the umpteenth repeat of the question "Will you go to the ball with me?", a bit of blood for all those times shes seemed to levitate and haunt the school as a ghost, and a pair of earmuffs to protect her from one of her latest INTERESTS!
To Raza Kanjee, aka Razia Kanjones, I leave behind Tom Clancy as his
slave! Also, I leave the interminable supply of notes that kept me from failing A Levels, and the history book I once stole from him!
To Nagin, I leave McDonalds and the ride to Indus Valley, for reasons that are not to be mentioned here, and a dictionary, which I suppose, being a poetess, she will need!
To SFK, my Red-Boy, I leave the phrase "women suck man!", Mrs Muncherji, and my CAT shoes, which he forbade me from wearing as a prefect, but alas, never succeeded at it!
To Abbas, my bandar-mimicking buddy, I leave a dhoti and danda which he can put to use in the dehat! Also, I leave him with gurumandir, an area which I always seemed to pick him up from, and elastic, to keep his shorts from falling next time he runs the 100 metres!
To Mobin, I leave two golf courses, diamond studded golf clubs, rows of golf carts and caddies. I know this is small compared to your greatness, but that was all I could afford yaar! I also leave him a pair of extra-long suspenders to facilitate him wearing his pants below knee-level!
To Ali Kazim, one of my best friends, I donate my Dil Hai Ke Maanta Nahin CD, and the two years of A Levels during which I missed his company terribly, which kept me going from Class 4 to Class 11.
To Nimr, my oldest friend, I leave the glass at Copper Kettle I broke
when he was treating and my green bottle from which he drank many a-time!
To Danish Dada, all my early birthday parties, which he always attended, and a Barbie cake, commemorative of all the cake shapes we had a competition on!
To Umair, I leave my bike and a few hours on my computer playing NFS II every 5th October!
To Ahad, Akbar and Jawad, my table tennis table and my moms burgers!
To Farooq, the subject Chemistry, which he hated and MNet, a channel he dearly adored!
And finally to $haBBy, the CDs from Rainbow Centre (his IT industry!)
and the numerous women from gymkhana!