I, Rishad Ahmed, of mind sound enough to believe that Radiohead is the best band in the world, hereby bequeath all my belongings to the following:
Danish: Best friends since we were two. Kiddy birthday parties. Playing cricket in your one acre house. A fight in class 8. The KAS and bayview girls wed hang out with. Long talks before add math tests. O levels and overconfidence (from both of us). Your memonism. You being smarter than you look. One too many jokes about Laleh. London and the German girls we tried to pick up! Having two drinks and stopping! Miranda changing my views on a couple of things. Two shaved heads. Religion revisited. A few tears on new years-Maybe things will be how they should be again. Have fun in London babystud.
Akbar: Hanging out under the tennis court trees in class 9. Talks after rejection. Its only bun. Probablay. Those shrieks you let out when you see a dog! You coming out of the social closet in first year. Paapri and stone paper scissor. Head nods. Analysing groups. The conference baby!! Miranda, Caroline. The victory dance!! Chiragh and his comments. Mark and his farts. The fonzii jackets. Yea man, I took her to pier 39! The melon joke. Dissecting jokes. Tooth tooth tooth! "THHOO!! " Me dressing up as a bori. Safiyas doodh, your overpowering love for your family! And the Ivy League BABY!!!! Bye! haha
Goldie: Alrighty boy! Pakistan spends 80% of its budget on defence?! What about Clifton?! Me somehow thinking that you cracked me up. The Amuse-o-matic and what it did to KMs computer! Copying your laugh. You helping me in just about every subject. GYLC baby! The stuff that you were the first to find out about. Shaving my beard. The waterbed in Akbars aunts house! That weird Blair witch project view. 8 ). "Under normal circumstances.." The therapy talks after I flipped my car. You being the greatest guy I know, with all the talent and none of the arrogance. I bet youll do that weird lip thing when you read this!
Sania: Hating each other in class 9. London, Whiteleys. That long walk. Ketchup at Hard rock Café. You dropped your head. Sadaf problems. Ghazanfar problems. The Sukhbir concert. Sex education. Jumping in my pool. The movie plans. The dinner plans. The Zamin issue. The laughing. The crying. The everything. Literature. Eliot. My typist relationships. The FY ball. A personal God with white beard. My superiority complex. Your complex within a complex, unable to say a complex. A group that was great till it disintegrated. A new group. Goldie and you! My parents love for you and vice versa. Say vice versa out loud! Me thinking highly enough of you to consider you my equal J (oh yea, and kill smiley)
Sadaf: Motorcycle drive by (how else could I start?). Jamilas. Your sports day hat. Night conversations. 8 hours. 101 things. A kid who was in over his head. A ball wasted (I think Ive heard this one before). Melodrama and over sensitivity. Selective memory. Bitterness, repulsion, and, strangely enough, friendship. Daudi, Aroosh, Miranda, Selina. My advice that you never followed (but which the rest of the world read). Fights and not talking for six months only to become best friends all over again. Bunny. Making the video for Miranda. You ranting about EVERYONE and being one of the few intelligent people I know. Take care of yourself Sadu, and lets hope were friends tomorrow.
Aalya: Seeing each other grow up. Becoming friends in class 9. Gelato. Making sandwiches at my house. Plans with just the two of us. Going to your house directly after I landed from the states. Juicy details Id get out of you. Learning to drive. Us both being able to do better. Coffee. Your parents love for me. Dinner. The SY play. Crazy dancing (more fun than Ive had with anyone). Well always be the best of friends. The others dont matter.
J.D: You being the smartest and funniest of all of us. That eyebrow thing you do. Sly bugger. The girls you phassowed. Mum mum. The time you showed me Melzs picture! @#$! my neck!! Khadija and Iman. Choo. Are you crazy?! The 3 musketeers. Salman Rushdies new book. Dont ever lose touch, man. Oh ballay ballay! (and take care of Omar!)
Sadiq: Montessori till now. Fighting in class 8. Jujjoos Oakley cap. O level chem and physics. You constantly punching my arm. TH plans. DP (never again). Your caddies. Spend the nights. Valentines day tapes. Dont go too crazy in USC.
Alto: Voodoo night. The Lahore trip. Your car(s). A couple of accidents and Sundance 2001.
Laleh: My first female best friend. Pseudos beyond belief. Email subjects. 24/01/97 (I think it was a Wednesday). Mrs. Belgaumis. Talking like a retard. Hiccuppy laughs. Analysis. Magical skies. Beri beri. Aroosh. Usman. You being one of the people who really influenced me. Class 10 ball. Fights. Irritation. Viciousness that Im sorry for. Aku uncle and misogyny. Always keep in touch.
Saman: Pine cones and plastic ducks. The Murree trip. Chairlift. Dinner at that Chinese place. Me being really funny on the phone. Hazelnut ice cream. Best friends for 2 months. Drifting and autograph books. Your desi-ness and my burger-ness. Oh my Gowod, I cant believe Im friends with a Cajam!
Anuscha: Dancing at Saphire. The SY ball. Meow! Phone conversations after that. Hey Hey Hey! The analysis I never wound up giving. Your brother being a great guy, and your strange family!
Zarsheesh: You being one of my oldest friends. The respect I have for you. The system and different ways of approaching it. You-the shrink in need of a shrink. You helping me get back on my feet. Nick and all the memories. Jesus and the lepers. Thanks for everything man. You dont know how much it means to me. Just call me anytime you need anything.
Faraz: New best friend. Pasta ingredients. Making those patakhas. She got six medals! Bhawww! Ponchoo. Paetoo. Cricket plans. Those Muth-khan patties at gymkhana. You being antisocial. The tree stump in your garden. The bathroom in your drawing room! Your brother Sultan. Reading books. Religion and those talks in your car. You better stay with me anytime youre passing through nyc (before you go Homeward Bound!).
Ali: The car pool in class 8. (Toodoodootoodoo!). Acting and always trying to hog the limelight. Debates when we were the bomb. (hell, were still the bomb). I ishmoke in thaiskool! Class 10 with Saadia Kamal, Sethi and co. The jokes on Mrs. Riaz. Thanks for always sticking up for me. The big butts dance. Mahirah and girl disease. Have fun at nyu-oops! Sorry!
Iman:Single White Female and the look I gave you when your dad dropped me home. Coffee at Aylanto. Bitching aboutjust about everyone I think. A trip to Hunza. Manipulation 101 with Iman Sheikh. Fights and bharam that we still seem to be going through. I can honestly say Ive never met anyone like you (well, except Merchant). Heres to nyc and growing up (for the both of us).
Ayesha: Miz Ayesha! Icq bonding. Your Balochi blood. Secrets that will remain secrets. nose hair, my mean streak, me still being scared of you and a really fun day on those boats.
Samar: Gylc and your bharam that really didnt work out! Dawood and Keenoo. That bus trip back from the fireworks where you told me how you felt about Chiragh (haha I want to see your face when you read this!). Your ugly feet. That time at Dunkin Donuts. The salads youd eat. Keep in touch.
Farah: Nadeems tuitions and relationship talks. Shaving cream fights. A lot of fun in the last two years, and your tiny toons!
Maliha, Sara, Saman and Amina: All the fun weve had in A levels.
Top Cat: The spend the nights, the TH plans, the arguing and the smoke thats always there with you.
Buddah: You apologizing for attacking me in risk, debates about religion and a duaa that saved our lives.
Sarah Jafri: All the times I ate at your house. The plans. The group. Pity it didnt work out.
Aroosh: Having the same taste. Talks about Laleh and Sadaf. Having all the same friends and being really good friends too. It just got kinda messed up there in the middle. Lets hope things return to normal again soon.
Afaan: Jumping off my roof 86-01. A practical joke. A trip to a neurosurgeon. Help getting a ball date! Being more than acquaintances even though theres the whole group masla. Its not going to be the same without you man.
Omar: Where to start? You knowing a completely different side to me. All our fights till you became bigger than me! Overshadowed and overconfident! You being too smart for your own good. The family brains and your potential. Love you, man.
Yasir Ghanchi: Rivalry. The head boy issue. Debating. Two trips to Lahore. Talks that will remain between us. A lot of jokes. A bathroom door that wouldnt close. Some weird Lahoris, a victory that we were dying for, some rocky times, and at the end of itfriends (I think).
Saad: A tough job that somebody had to do, and that you did really well. Debating, talks and two way advice. Hope you enjoy Yale and success.
Jaffer Hoti: Your hyper laugh. Your Nanis house, the time you forgot your ticket, the jokes with your mom, and trips to Lahore that really wouldnt have been the same without you. Have fun as headboy and try not to let it go to your head.
Ahsan and Zohair: I dont mind if Napier loses, just make sure we have the coolest debate team. Oh, and promise me youll put the fan on full speed at every meeting.
Amer and Mahir:The best sport in the world
Mrs. Ahsanuddin, Mr. Zaidi, Mrs. Malik, and Mrs. Hoti:Thank you.