I've already spoken my share in KGS, so I'll keep this short
To Faizan, Feroz, Taimur, Rameez and Tariq: Well, we're all gonna leave soon, and we wont hang out together like we did almost every day for the last ten years or so. We've had so many totally terrific times that I can't even begin to count 'em all. You people have come to define the word 'friends', and I don't know how I'll manage to have a good time without you guys. We've done so much 'tafreeh', but I guess no amount of fun is ever enough. This isn't goodbye. They say all good things come to an end; but not the amazing times that we have had. Faizan, Heidi Klum is MINE, understand?? Feroz, insaan ban jaabhi bhi time hai. Taimur, don't lose control in Florida, I know its gonna be tough though! Rameez, remember, if anyone messes with you, just call for Notorious M.Y.G. Tariq, Chicago isnt far away from Iowa, be sure to drop by frequently. so till we party again..Adios amigos!
Saad: The politics, the bharam, the power, the intrigueits all over. Saad, you're headboy man, DO SOMETHING!!! (how many times have I said that?). Life at KGS would've been pretty dull without you there to create (and finish) all the problems. I leave you all the moments we shared, from the great triumph at Aitchison College, to the good and bad times at KGS. Not that I couldn't have survived by myself, but thanks for saving my ass a million and one times. Thanks for being a brother. If I write all the things I bequeath to you, I'd fill up the Pulse. You're forgiven for taking my gown and my place at Yale, and I hope you realize I'm letting you off lightly. Seriously, you were a great Headboy, and I hope you have a blast in New
Sarah Jafri:Firstly, my apologies. I'm sure there have been many times when
I have been the cause of misery and tormentand adoration (any psychiatrist
worth his salt will tell you that you love me..!). Even though my wisecracks and indiscretion have landed me in trouble INNUMERABLE times with you and other people (Sarah, you get no points for guessing who) , I just can't seem to control myself. I'm sure your involvement in my often-complicated affairs has made you a savvy diplomat. And as a reward for always being there for me and being a genuinely amazing friend, I promise to appoint you Foreign Minister as soon as I become Prime Minister, and as soon as someone convinces me that women can think rationally(Oops, sorryNo offence meantwell, only a little!!). I leave you all the episodes of the GREATEST SHOW in TV history- the Simpsons. I also leave you the countless hours we spent on the phone talking about everything under and above the sun. And as far as redeeming your faith in men is concerned, you don't have to
thank me, the pleasure was all mine. I also leave you a mirror, so that you can go see
for yourself that you are stunningly beautiful, and no, I don't say that to all the womenonly the ones who are breathing! I'll miss you a lot in Chicago, but I know we'll stay in touch. And don't forget, we have to visit Washington D.C. together, it's a date then
Mariyah Arif: Ahemas much as I hate to admit, you are not frightfully annoying. Happy? (mariyah, when do I get paid for saying that?) Hahaha, sorry! Yaar, I've tormented you more than you deserved to be tormentedbut I wont apologize, because you enjoyed it more than I did. I leave you all our diabolical schemes and plots, which always happened to fail because of you! Kidding! I also leave you the terribly embarrassing moment I suffered in Accounts class thanks to you (Mariyah, I hope you learnt your lesson that all things aren't supposed to be said out aloud!!). I leave you my successful attempts to become as sophisticated as Niles Crane, and
you're awful awful corny jokes. If not for you, I would have died in Eco class. I leave you all the story-lines of the numerous episodes of the Simpsons I narrated to you. I also leave you the Czech Republicand a certain oddly-named character who lives there (Whoops, now everyone knowsTAKE THAT mariyah!!!). You are a fabulous person, but don't quote me on that, it might wreck my future in politics.. (don't you just love this Mariyah?)
Rishad Ahmed: to my vice-president, thanks for not revoltingI didn't know
you had it in you. Take care man, and see you at UChicago vs Columbia debates. Who knows, you might actually beat me once.(I know you're gonna edit this you bugger)
Jaffar Khan Hoti: I leave you all the massacres we committed at the debates in Lahore on three occasions (die Aitchisonians, DIE!!) If we lose the Nationals next year..KILL all the Aitchisonians! Good luck for second year and for the WORLDS, Insha-Allah you'll make it to the Pakistan team.
Bariza Umar: I had a great time at the ball, you were a wonderful date. Have fun at Brandeis.
To Fawad, Ibaad, Ali I, Imran, Omer: I leave you guys all the 'ultra-smooth' Accounts classes and the Smooth dealing society that never took off. Stay smooth
Abbas Rizvi: My old friend, you are too clever and cunning for your own good. I leave you all the situations that we faced in KGS and before. You were an awesome House captain, Insha-Allah we'll win Cock house.and I'll be right there to take more credit than I deserve.
To all the other people, including all the teachers, who made my KGS experience a wonderful one: Thank you, and God bless you all.